Carpe Diem

She has gone so far Even so, I know she's here She is said to have become a star Still, I know she cares. stretched apart in between here and there I know loved ones don't disappear so I know she's still here but I also wonder, where? I can't feel her warmth,  and her hands aren't caressing my hair.  I want to hold her, but she isn't here. love is just not about being here It is everlasting and exists beyond  life and death's sphere yet she is not here. I can't hear her although she's in my heart but I cannot see her anymore I don't know when I'll see her again and her old white hair I'm not sure if it'll be in my next birth  or after death up there. I know you're here, Grandma,  but you're not simply here. ascetic or austere  my soul gets nudges here and there,  with this quiet noise that is burning inside of me, leaving my eyes in tears yet I'll keep going with a non-healing fright  in agony, uncertainty, and despair wit...

I was sitting beside, in the blues. Looking at her watery eyes, storm inside veiled With blue hues. Longing to hear my name called up in a trice, Not her, but her breath; she was departing, told her agonal breath. Memories, questions, confusion with every rise and fall of her surging breath gap. Her love for me is eternal but she has to leave, told her hand on my lap. Gasps, pause, rattle gasps, pause, and the final sigh. . . . O! My grandmother was gone leaving  the loudest silence behind. A part of her is alive in me like Noah and the dove. There is nothing like death, prompted  her undying love. I feel her more now than ever before. For her soul has transcended the limitations of the body and core. In another life, resting at god's feet. I feel her presence in every heartbeat, lingering on the ground, in the sky One day I will meet her; So never said Goodbye...